So me and Jerry are experimenting with the mind-lubing qualities of a late-night write. Being up after everyone else opens you into this other world, this secret never-never that you only get to go to when you're alone because it's secret, like Santa Claus. So I may as well show you guys the weird stuff I came up with. It's crazy.

There are two kinds of people in this world. One kind will order filet minion and get a blistering pile of old ham, molding under his nose like a man shot dead in the Sahara. He just smiles, real shallow, and thanks the waitress for his meal, like he's getting something unexpected and he likes it anyway. The other man would just raise his hand, take a long hard look at the plate so surreptitiously placed before him, and then a long, hard look at Dixie over there, and then just slug her. Just a good, clean one so she knows what it is. But he doesn't have to anyway because he gets filet minion like he asked for. And he gets ten minutes with Dixie, too.
So right now I was the first guy and Jonny was the second guy, least-wise that's how it always was. I'd zig and he'd zag, or I'd zag this time but he'd zig, and no matter what the market that day on zigs and zags would be just what worked for him. But the thing is, when you walk down the street and some dame passes you on the right, you pass her on the left. And zig-zagging was the same way. I'd zigged to him, and he'd zagged to me, but we ended up meeting in the middle this time. So I have my special-edition Zig 9mm and he's got his Zag Special Action Army and we're just looking at each other, full of hate because the other guy's trying to steal our style. Even a loser's got losing. So I look at him and I say, "Hey, Jonny, how's the market on those today?" And he says, "What the fuck are you talking about?" And I say, "You dumb bastard, you think you've got me beat 'cause you're a born winner, but a born winner always loses sometime and when he does he hits hard from all that going straight to the top." Only, I don't because just that moment the waitress, not Dixie, no, but just a waitress with no name because although she's got one she really hasn't, decided neither to zig nor zag, but to z-- in on entirely different axis in space. So this time I zagged and he zigged and she did something altogether different, and to cut a long, long story short Jonny's market was a bear that day. He went straight down.