bumble b. ramble

My original plan for this post, being several days overdue and needing to be made, was to list a series of facts about the average man. I had assumed that since so many people, so many trivia websites want to know all they can about our average man, I would find heaps upon heaps of facts. I had somehow expected to create something interesting, this unchanged, found-piece gathering of facts that would open the reader's eyes to something, some subtle, almost unintended (but not) message about life. Maybe more of a warning, skeletons in an Indiana-Jones temple, piled in heaps around the Item on a stone altar.
Sadly that did not happen. My facts sucked. There are strangely few things understood about the Average Man, for all of his relevance. I could tell you Tom Cruise's favorite lip balm but nobody on this planet seems to care how many books the average man reads in a lifetime or his favorite kind of movie, or how many times he will have his heart broken (at a guess-53, comedies, and 2.7?).
What I did find is what the average man is not; over and over again I was told by attorneys, advice columnists, and investment gurus that there is no such thing as the average man, he isn't real. Every person has unique qualities and characteristics that no-one else shares. No two people are quite alike. Etc and so on.
Fuck that! is my first response. All I ever see is average people. Every day they file down the Quad in huge packs. Between classes there are so many people they actually lose individuality and become a Crowd. Even in one of my smaller classes, say thirty people, at least two thirds of them immediately become average people and disappear. They're transparent, they're nothing. They're replaceable and so they don't matter to me and, by extention, are assumed to matter to no-one. These people are comps, walk-on roles, NPC's. They're the people in video games who go into their houses at night and then just stand there for ten hours because nobody is watching them. If they fell, no-one would make a sound.
But, Doubting Roginsky reminds me, I could easily be an average person myself. I live in a fucking white plaster box with a number on the door, in a hallway among other hallways among other buildings on other campuses. Isn't it possible that everyone else sees themselves with that same individuality? he whispers.
When I was, like, ten, eight, I used to wonder, not seriously, that old question, whether I was the only "real" person and everyone else was Not. I didn't think too hard what they would be, robots, Truman-show actors, hallucinations. I just knew they Weren't. I hope you understand. These days, I assume that most people are like that. Not in person, but in my head, considering them, like I am right now with my average man ramble. I just assume they're empty and plodding, the General Public, props until proven otherwise.
The average man was supposed to resonate with all of us, but now he's just this hollow motherfucker I treat as a tool, a rube, a futility king. He was supposed to scare us. But now I think I don't care anymore. Maybe the facts I found were so banal because the average man is in fact a disappointment. I don't know.
This post's gone on too long and we're still miles from our destination. I'm pulling the ripcord!