The following is a transcript of a customer service call to E-cyber Distrubition Service, Inc. The customer and the service rep's identities are witheld for privacy. Note that all calls can be recorded for further service training.

3:12 PM, June 3rd, 2005

Representative: Welcome to EDS phone service, my name is ****- how may I help you?

Customer: Hello?

Rep: Hi. My name's ****, how may I help you?

Customer: He- Martha what's wrong with the goddamned phone? HELLO?

Rep: Sir, can you hear me?

Customer: For Christ's sake, Martha- yes, it's plugged in. Why would it be unplugged? I- oh. I've got the damned thing upside-down. CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Rep: ... Loud and clear, sir. How may I help you?

Customer: Who is this?

Rep: This is **** with EDS customer service.

Customer: Okay, ****... Martha! What's the problem again? ... Alright, we need our subdermals replaced.

Rep: I'm sorry sir, could you repeat that?

Customer: We need our subdermals replaced. The recharging doesn't seem to keep them powered for longer than half a day, and it's getting annoying. ... Yes, I'm SURE I left it on the counter. Are you sure you didn't put it somewhere else?

Rep: Uh, sir, is this an internet-related problem, or software-related?

Customer: For crying out loud, Martha! I'm on the phone! Look for it yourself! ... What? These are our subdermal neural interface / domination units. We need them replaced. We were under the impression that they'd be covered by warranty until 3024.

Rep: ...

Customer: Hello?

Rep: Er, I-- uh, for general computing problems, please contact your computer's distributor. EDS does not provide support beyond our ISP service.

Customer: What? That's-- NO, MARTHA, I DID NOT USE IT YESTERDAY! That's ridiculous. We had the complete Internal Synthetic Prosthetics along with your bonus mental manipulation package. You've got to support both of them, it was in the service agreement. Now please, all we need is for a subdermal replacement.

Rep: Let me get you in contact with... um, my manager...

Manager: This is EDS Manager ****** speaking. Now, what seems to be your problem?

Customer: Come on! This is ridiculous! When we paid for this stuff at your Alpha Centauri branch, we... wait. What did you say?

Manager: Uh... this is EDS?

Customer: EDS? Earth Domination Subsystems? Isn't this your Mars headquarters?

Manager: I- uh- this is... er, E-cyber Distribution Service, sir. The internet service provider?

Vyxxruminon, Commander of the 3rd Infiltration Force: Oh, for Christ's sake. *CLICK*

END RECORDING, 3:34 PM