The Journal of Kenneth Freeman

[Edit] You're right Ben, the chicken part sucks. It was merely meant to be a veiled reference to a Stephen King short story, and I suppose the entire thing is anyways.

2/13/03:

Trapped. The walls seem to be closing in on me; I don't think I have much time left. I found this old book as I came in

I should have fucking listened to Johannes- I can't even count how many times he warned me this would happen. Well, this is what I deserve, I suppose. Isolated from the world with no hope of rescue. I never figured myself to be that kind of guy, but fate plays the cruellest jokes of all.

Oh... Jane... I had hoped to be able to meet you once more...

2/15/03:

Provisions running low. Yesterday I lost feeling in my right foot, and the numbness has been creeping up my leg. I think there's something slowly cutting the circulation off. If only I could reach it...

There's a tremendous stink building up. I've been trying to confine my starved and sickly bowel movements to a corner, but my limited mobility has rendered that effort futile.

I've been writing using a sliver of light that trickles into this room, letter by letter. I can only hope that this journal will be found, so that my story can be told to all.

Ugh... Jane...

3/1/03:

Been... so... long. Why hasn't anybody come for me?

No... couldn't be. Somebody has to know I'm here. I must be missed!

ate the last of my rations today. if im not found soon, I'll surely perish.

I haven't even written a will. Who will inherit my wealth?

Perhaps Shandra, the cute girl at the grocery. She was nice to me.

I have no regrets! I came here in the name of advancement! Where I failed, others will surely succeed.

3/5/03:

h av e resorrrrte d to canniblism. left arm gone.
vry dificult to rite now.

jane


3/9/03:

oh jane jane jane jane jane jane jane
jane jane jane jane jane jane jane
jane jane jane jane jane jane jane
jane jane jane jane jane jane jane
jane jane jane jane jane jane jane
jane jane jane jane jane jane jane
jane jane jane jane jane jane jane
jane jane jane jane jane jane ja


With that, the entries end. Kenneth Freeman was discovered on March 15th, 2003, trapped inside of his own walk-in pantry. His rampant obesity was of great concern to those who knew him, and especially Johannes Morgan, his doctor. When the police found his body, he had consumed everything in his pantry within reach, including boxes of noodles, Peppridge Farm Fishes, Oreos, dried Oatmeal, and Purina dog chow. The contents of the lower half of the pantry, including packages of M. Jane's Premium Pork Rinds, were left untouched. Freeman had evidently attempted to wedge himself into the back of the pantry to reach the rinds, but had become hopelessly trapped. These journal entrie were found in the pages of a "Tacos for Dummies" book.

Freeman weighed 460 pounds when he died.